Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Things to do while you wait

 source photo

Here are some things you can do while you wait for you're baby to appear on the scene...

1. Eat tums.  Yes in the last month of pregnancy your esophagus shrinks to roughly 2 inches long.* So you will need to eat the tums all day long.

2. While you're eating the tums...try and find reoccurring patterns in the flavors. For example...Shake the tums into your hand "Oh I got 2 green an orange and a yellow" See how that works?  It's a fun little game.**

3. Take super long walk near a dog park and see how many dogs let you pet them.  Yesterday 2 dogs let me pet them.  (I really want a dog now to cuddle in the morning with, wish you could rent a dog to cuddle sometimes)

4. Watch Glee.  I know, I was pretty anti-Glee.  But the first season came on Netflix so I started watching it, and hooked like a fish.***

5. Fold and re-fold little onesies. And admire baby socks...and wonder why anyone would want to cover baby feet up.

6. Clean....?  Maybe you could do this.  Personally my sink is full of dishes.  However I did do some much needed dusting yesterday and my bathroom is clean.

7. Count your stretch-marks.  HA HA don't do this! It's depressing.  I do not have the type of skin that likes to stretch...I learned this at puberty, I feel that it is for this reason that I am the shortest one in my family...because my skin refused to stretch any further than it needed to.

8. Go into public and answer questions.  Don't worry this will come naturally.  The people want to know why your belly is so big.  They might even tell you that you make them nervous.  They will say things like "you must be due any day now!" And they won't maintain eye contact because they peer in wonder at your belly.

9. Buy some ice cream.  Look around at the women in the isle and chuckle evil-ly because you know they wish they could buy a jumbo pack of Drumsticks without feeling guilty.****

10. Do your hair and make-up just in case today is the day.  Alright I still don't do this everyday...every other day I think is acceptable, because drying your hair is a pain the the booty...which is already in pain because the baby's head in on a nerve.

*Pretty sure I have no idea what I'm talking about here...but I feel like my food doesn't go very far down.
**This is misleading.  It is not a fun game.
***Please don't call me a "Gleek" I do not accept that, I reject it.
****For the record I don't feel any guilt what-so-ever!

P.S. This is all meant in fun.  I have enjoyed being pregnant very much.  There does come a point where you're so uncomfortable that gotta keep your mind off of all the waiting!