Wednesday, March 28, 2012

My favortie thing to do

My favorite thing to do is watch my son eat.  He makes the cutest faces...they change moment by moment.  So sweet, love my boy!

Friday, March 23, 2012

"Oh I enjoyed it all right"

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That's right I'll say it...I really enjoyed being pregnant.  I did enjoy it in a "hey there's a miraculous thing happening inside by body" way...but what I want to talk about is EATING.  Oh girl, I ate whatever I wanted when ever I wanted it.  It was bliss.  I am not naturally thin, never have been, never will be.  I have to watch what I eat or work out like crazy.  I've lost weight different ways...working out was not my favorite way.

Anyhow, here I am 10 months post baby and I don't know how much I weigh because I don't own a scale. (really I see no need to own a product made in the depths of hades) But I know that I am a certain size.  That size is not where I want to be.  So now I am paying the price for enjoying "eating for two."  I've been walking with Casey and it's nice and we enjoy getting out in the fresh air but frankly it does nothing for me in the weight loss department.  So after once again being uncomfortable about my body I made two decisions...

One:  I bought new clothes.  Honestly it became so frustrating to have all my old clothes right there in my closet and try a squeeze myself into them.  So I broke down and bought some new things, because I might as well feel good in what I'm wearing while I'm working on loosing weight.

Two:  This is the worst...I started to run.  I hate it.  I do.  But I've decided I'm walking anyways I need to kick it up a notch if I expect my body to respond.  It totally stinks.  But I have to accept that this is the body I have and I gotta work hard if I want it to change.

What I've learned:  Well next time around I want to do things different.  This is what I think about as I'm running, feeling like I'm gonna die, "Meg remember this next time your pregnant and want to eat whatever you want."  I'm determined to do things differently because I know that I'll pay the price for it later.  So for now I'm working on getting back to a size where I'm happy.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Overwhelming Anxiety, My Story

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Hey everyone! Today I'd like to share a little bit about what has happened to my body since having Casey.  We all know stories about women who experience postpartum depression, or maybe you have for yourself.  In my mind someone with postpartum depression was someone who couldn't get out of bed, had trouble connecting with their baby, very tired, etc.  Well I think instantly after having Casey my hormones hit my body like a ton of bricks.  I would describe it like having really bad PMS all the time.  I didn't have any trouble connecting with my baby and I would describe myself as happy and indeed I felt happy.  But my patience was short with others (mainly my husband) and social interaction was nerve wracking.  I didn't want to go anywhere not because I was fearful of protecting my new baby but because I would think about every possible thing that I needed or situations that could happen. My mind was on over-load.

Anyways I knew this wasn't normal.  I've always been a worry wart but my anxiety was overwhelming me so badly I felt like I was in smooth water swimming along and then all of the sudden I was in a current that I just couldn't keep up with and I felt like I was loosing it.  Still I felt fine with my son...bonded and I was happy to just stay home and be with him.  I just kept thinking "this is going to go away."  Well I knew that it had gotten out of hand when my brother and sister-in-law had invited us over for New Year's Eve.  I didn't want to go...I mean I was anxious about going to my brother's house...two people I am very close to.  We went and it was fine we had a good time but I knew that something was wrong with me and maybe it wasn't going away.

I have a history of depression in my family so I knew to be aware of things going on with myself.  It was hard for me because I never felt sad, I still have a hard time saying that I have postpartum depression...but it's good to know that there are different forms and I struggle with severe anxiety.  Anyways during this time my husband and I moved, Casey still wasn't sleeping very well, my hormones were hitting me hard...I called the doctor.  She put me on a low dose of Paxil.  It took a couple weeks for me to notice a difference but then I started to notice a big difference.  My mind calmed down...we could go out and I would sit in the car thinking "wow, my mind isn't racing about all the what if's." It was really good!  I felt free.

It was hard for me in the beginning to wrap my mind around taking medication.  But I think that God allows medicine for a purpose.  By his grace he has given us medicine to help us, to heal us, and I am thankful.  So this was new for me...all this is new for me...but I feel so much better...I just wanted to share my story.


Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Casey, My boy

Well the last time I posted Casey was only 6 months old...He's almost 11 but not quite.  So the past few months have gone by in a blur.  Casey is eating big boy foods, drinking only from a sippy cup, sleeping through the night (thank goodness!), and crawling super fast.  He's discovered his own communication style...screaming as loud as he can to expresses everything...excitement, frustration, whatever.  So I've been trying to give him words to pair with his feelings.  All in all he's a good little boy and we love him so much! 

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Starting Fresh

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Hey everyone! I know it's been months since I've written anything and even longer since I've written faithfully...but now thanks to the help of my super talented Sister-in-law, Steph, and her amazing blog design, (and Casey finally taking consistent naps) I am finally ready to get back into the swing of things!

I've changed my Blog title to "All Things Made New" for various reasons. One is from this verse: 
2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)
17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
This verse exemplifies the promise that Our Father is working on us.  Which I feel like is a great thing to remember daily!  But other than that I just feel like "All Things Made New" is just the phrase that came to mind as I was trying to explain what's been going on in my life.  I'm a new mom...I literally didn't get a good night sleep for 8 months...and every little bit of what I am going through is uncharted territory for me.  Even working out what it means to be a wife/mom is new.  New, new new.  There is so much I want to share about what's been going on and I'm excited to jump back into the blogging world. I'm looking forward to sharing more soon!