I am....not...

 Source Photo

Recently a younger friend and I were corresponding back and forth, and she brought up that she feels like she's dealing with insecurities, and she feels like she's the only one who deals with being insecure.  I said no way! ALL WOMEN ARE INSECURE! And that she probably feels like she's the only one because we women are all trying to convince everyone else that they've "got it all together." Why?  Good Golly why are we like that? 

I know that I am guilty of this. Perhaps it's the reason I try on 15 different outfits before church on Sunday.  Or scramble to clean up if I have a visitor, just dropping something by.  "Oh yes my house always looks like this..." No.  Why does it feel so good to lead someone into perceiving you a certain way?  Being a mom is like living in a constant state of being exposed for what you really are...an imperfect person with an imperfect baby.  There's a freedom in it, but it also can open a huge can of new insecurities. 

Here's the truth.  My closet is still full of clothes all over, laundry I still need to do.  I hardly shower. On the mornings I feel gross enough to shower I walk around saying "I hate shower morning."  Besides making meals, I have no hobbies, no projects, no extra anything.  I wake up I watch my son, play with him, make his meals, walk with him, let him climb all over me, and basically wear me out until 6:30pm till he's down.  Then I make dinner and veg with my husband.  Yesterday I tried to cut ribbon for a decoration for his first birthday party during Casey's snack and it was not easy.  I thought "this is why I don't do anything...I literally have no energy."  I know it won't always be like this.  He'll be more independent someday, I'll have more energy someday. But not today.  Today I will sit on the couch and enjoy the fact that I showered yesterday, and try not to worry too much about the fact that Casey woke up at 5 am this morning and what it's going to do to our schedule.    

Dinners

 Source photo

Sometimes dinner can be the last thing you want to do after a long day talking care of the house and baby.  But I think I've finally hit my stride with 2 simple ways to prepare foods.  the first thing that helps me is my crock pot.  I use it to cook my chicken, usually I put two  frozen chicken breasts in with about a cup of water and one pack of Italian dressing seasoning. It cooks on high for 4 to 6 hours (I've also cooked it on low for 8).  Then I take out the chicken and shred it up with a fork, and store it in the fridge.

I use this chicken for loads of things.  I use it for chicken pasta with spinach, broccoli chicken casserole, green salads, chicken salad pitas.  Cooking the chicken this way makes it really versatile...and you can give it to your baby as finger food too! Easy!

The next thing I've been into is roasting veggies.  This is too easy and so good!  All you do is take baby carrots, zucchini, onions, small white or red potatoes, anything you have in your fridge.  Cut up what you need to and place in a foil lined pyrex baking pan.  Then pour over some olive oil, salt and pepper, and some Italian dry seasoning, and mix all together with your hands and pat flat.  Turn your oven to 350 degrees and leave in for 40 to an hour.  They get caramelized and delicious. Another great idea is to put either chicken or turkey in the center and put some chopped lemons on top and all around and bake with the veggies for and hour or so.  Simple!

I've been really enjoying spinach lately...I have plans to make spinach and fruit morning smoothies! So hopefully I can share that soon.  I never thought I'd be any sort of a meal planner because I'm not a planner but I do want to provide healthy and tasty meals for my hard working hubs and these are things that my little guy can enjoy too once he has more teeth!

Five Thursday Thoughts

 source photo

1) Cookies do count as breakfast.

2) Why oh why are onesie snap buttons so unbelievably hard to button sometimes? I swear it feels like the loooongest moments of my day are snapping those buttons!

3) This is how much I HATE doing laundry...I have spent the past 2 days cleaning every other part of my house avoiding the walk in closet where all our clothes are now currently stuffed.  I even cleaned the base boards?! That's how much I hate laundry.  My husband caught on...because I kept walking him around showing him "look at all I've done!" So he couldn't bring up the laundry right?! Cause I've been busy...!  Anyways he knew that's what I was doing, but him being one who also hates doing laundry he can't really say anything.  Ha!

4) My baby is learning to walk.  He walked across the room the other day and has been trying and falling and just being plan cute working on being a big boy.  Adore!

5) I had to take a shower today... it's been a while, I won't say how long but possibly the last time was a holiday...er don't judge me, it's not like it was Christmas or anything.  I also hate showering.  Not the showering part, but the having to dry and style my hair part. Why does having a baby suddenly make a lot of things you used to enjoy such a terrible chore now?  Too busy I guess.  

Little boys

I recently read a great article on what little boys need from their moms.  I just loved all the suggestions and clarity.  I felt relief to know that all boys have tons of energy.  It can be hard as a woman to understand their need to constantly be on the move.  Some days are just exhausting for me because, at the time, I seem to be his favorite jungle gym.  But I love it! This past weekend was so much fun because I can see my sisters little boy Jax (who is a year older than Casey) and Casey becoming little buddies.  My sister and I are throwing a joint-birthday party because their birthdays are a week apart and I took pictures of them for our invitations.  Oh my goodness I loved watching them interact...they are getting to like each other more and more. It's absolutely precious to me, and I am thankful that they have each other to wrestle and be a boy with. 

Every child is not my child, and yet...

 Source photo

The other day I saw something I've seen before.  I was standing in line at Target, I was alone with my little guy in the cart...just waiting.  All I really do as I wait is people watch and talk to the baby and try and keep his hands full with something other than something I want to buy (or don't want to buy for that matter.)  And I hear this woman yelling "Don't touch that!"  She was paying for her items at the check out but she was yelling so loudly at her son who was probably 4 or 5 things not to do.  I just watched (like everyone else) and kissed my son on the forehead..."God please don't ever let that be me."

Being the shy person that I am I would never say anything to the woman, I know she was overwhelmed.  It doesn't excuse humiliating for son, or herself.   But I wanted to hug her little boy.  I never payed all that much attention to kids before I had one.  I would still be shocked by what that woman did but my motherly response to comfort her son first probably wouldn't have been so strong. My second thought was "maybe she needs some medication..." but that's a different post for a different day.

My son is still small but I know the time is swiftly approaching when I will be training him in right and wrong.  I don't ever want to be as that woman was with my son.  I want to hold the rule of "say 10 positive things for every one correction."  This is so critical.  I want him to be confident and secure in himself.  I want him to love himself and know that I love and respect him too.  On our daily walk I pray and pray for wisdom to be a good mother and to train him to grow and remain in the Lord. 

God, please be with all the overwhelmed mother's out there today.  Help them to realize that what they do and say has a great effect on their children. Amen