Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Sincerely, Confused in California

 source photo

 You know those doors every one talks about...the ones that are opened so you can walk through them.  Or also when maybe those same "doors" close, miraculously a window you can climb through them.  I like the idea of them...but haven't you been in a place where there only seems to be closed doors? I believe that sometimes it's very clear...God wants me to go down this or that path. It seems like a door opened.  Don't you love those times.  But other times all you hear is doors slamming shut...bam...bam...bam! At this point you would love to have a direction...but you have none.  You wish for a door with a flashing red arrow pointing down at it...and maybe even a loud authoritative voice saying "This is it...walk through it!" Or I'd totally take a window...even like a small bathroom window that will be a struggle because of your hips but you barely fit through.  No doors, no windows...

I've said before that I can relate to the Israelite people wandering in the desert.  I feel like that. I think the Israelite people would have loved if the promise land was just a mile down the road. If God gave them "an open window." Nope, no doors, no windows. Keep walking.

There was a point to all this "walking." The end result was a Promise Land.  There was a promise from God that this time in the desert would not last forever.  Did the people trust God.  No.  What did they want? A door...or even a easy way out.  Did that generation receive the promise? No, and who knows how long it would have taken if they just would have had faith in God.  But they begged for an easy way out.

I think these myths about "Open doors and windows" come from people wanting to make excuses for God, to make God as nice as we think He should be.  It's true that God loves us more than we'll ever know how to love.  It is also true that He is perfectly just. If you've read the Bible you know there are things that make us cringe.   We understand the love part...but we don't understand His justice.  So we try and make excuses.

These excuses are not necessary.  Trust me, we've been hit with so much in the past month...more than I've even been sharing.  But I know that the promise land is out there. But God wants something from me in return.  Faithful Obedience.  Sometimes we have to walk through the desert in order to get to where we want to be.  It's hard for me to say or even do sometimes but I have to have faith because God knows what He's doing. 



  1. Sweetheart I'm praying for you. I can totally understand! Josh and I spent the last 7 years dealing with one door slamming in our face after the next....with barely enough time to recouperate in between! To be honest we still don't have a clue! Thank GOD this baby is distracting us from all the crazy stuff in our lives right now because for a while there I was feeling pretty hopeless. I hope things start becomming clearer for you! I know it's hard, and I know nothing anyone can say will make it better. Love ya!

  2. I understand. I will be praying for you guys.

  3. You're so right Meg. I can identify.
    Praying for you.